A Head Full Of Bees

I feel awful. I totally over reacted about yesterday but it really was the last little thing and I'd had enough. I was nasty to Frank and rude to Emma and I wish I hadn't been but I was. Now Frank is mad at me. I'm mad at me. I'm tired from hardly sleeping. I'm upset and just want to stay at home and cry. He said I'd agreed to stay for tea a while ago but I don't remember that. I don't remember anything and thats half the reason we argue about stupid things like this. It really upset me when he said he's going out the the cinema with all his friends tonight after we'd both said we're not doing anything and would spend the evening together. He said he wanted to stay in bcause he's spent too much money this week. He can't seem to see how bad that makes me feel. I know he likes to go out with his friends but to say he'll stay in with me because he can't afford to go anywhere, then ditch me to go out for an evening with his friends makes me feel like I'm just something free to keep him occupied until something better comes along. Maybe he's bored of me. I don't know. I can't think for all the things buzzing round in my head.

The Last Straw Of A Five Minute Week

I'm so tired. It's been a week since we finished school, the last day was fantastic and I had a brilliant time - dressed in the traditional fancy dress Tigger outfit of course. I worked Saturday which was totally manic, so much to do and you just get caught up in so many things going on in that place. Is it worth the stress? Sunday was quite busy at Boots because of the continental and flower market - money good :oD. But I went into Palmers after a mysterious missed call on my mobile, and wanted to jump up and down and yell a big fat 'I TOLD YOU SO, YOU WANKERS!' after turning up to a totally dead trade there. Everyone said 'it'll be fine, it'll be really busy with the market' to which I replied ' They're coming for the market not to pop into Palmers for a new set of pans and a bed sheet...'. No body ever listens to me in that place. Not my loss though.
Monday to Wednesday I was at Dads. We didn't do much but its hard to relax and chill out there sometimes, its just not quite right. I got lots of textiles work done and didn't relax much at all really so came home just as unbelievably shattered as I was when I went. Tuesday shopping was good though, got my whole outfit for the leavers party: Dress £16, Shoes £12, Bracelets £5, Hairband £1.50, Handbag £16. Total £44.50. Bloody marvelous! Didnt look too bad at the I suppose, my nipples were all pointy even though i was warm! I felt a bit exposed (although may have actually exposed myself due to intoxication...) Saurus slept over and we both conked out after a fab night. shame he had to go to work so early but im always doing it to him so I can't complain.
Its Friday again after what seems like 5 minutes and I worked all day today. I found out I'm earning the least out of everyone in the store who's 18+. Considering I work my arse off I'm not sure its worth it. I was planning on stopping at Saurus' after work just to drop off his stuff from wedneday then go home and crash for a bit before ringing. I was tired, worn out, and desperately want to go home and be on my own. As I left work I looked at my phone which had a message saying 'your coming here for sex and diner. then can you take me and emma to walsham with you so jj can pick us up and take us climbing. please love you' I knew they were going climbing but since when was I a compulsory part of THEIR plan to go climbing WITHOUT ME? I'm not a fucking taxi service and I didnt get a proper sit down and rest because I was so mad at him and had to drive him and Emma. I wouldn't have minded quite so much if he'd asked me in the morning - although he always leavse things to the last minute and always relies on other people taking him everywhere. I'm his girlfriend and was pissed off, christ knows what Marc must feel like - Franks last minute personal Chaufeur.
Mad and tired.