I Don't Know Him Anymore

Can't concentrate.
Can't think.
Can't eat.
Doubt I can sleep.
I can cry.
Eyes hurt, throat hurts, head spinning.

What have I done wrong?
Is it my fault if he's tired?
Is it my fault if he's upset?
Is it my fault if he's stressed?
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
I don't know him anymore.

Usually we have fun, tickle, smile, laugh,
Snuggles and huggles and gentle kisses on soft lips.
I know he says he cares, I know he says he loves me.
But like this it's all ruined,
Everything shattered
Broken
Lost
I am lost.

I try to see him, make an effort, make him smile.
He doesn't want to see me,
Doesn't make an effort,
Stops me smiling.
He's angry
He's rude
He's selfish
He's hurtful
He snaps.
I try to make him laugh.
He puts me down,
Embarrasses me.
Why do I bother?

I went to see my friends two flats up, I invited him.
Didn't want to know, didn't want to come.
I go to see him,
Say hello,
He doesn't look up.
Kiss him on the head,
Blank.
I go to my friends, have fun, laugh, play,
drink a little, laugh alot, I wish he was there.
I go to say goodbye,
Disgust.
More anger
More hate
More nasty texts
More blame.
More tears
I love him,
Why does he hurt me so much?